I know, it sounds bizarre. Some people think it’s crazy, some people think it’s fascinating, some people think it’s a lie. (‘Cause making up some random, weird, body malfunction is what all the kids are doing, right?)
For as long as I can remember, I couldn’t feel cold. I’ve been walking around in tank tops and shorts since I was twelve. When I was a kid, I would shed my winter clothes as soon as I got out of view of my house, sweating under the suffocating pressure of a thick jacket, toque and gloves. (My mom would inevitably find out about it from various people in our community, I would get a spank, and the next day, I’d be doing the exact same thing again.) I don’t know why I can’t feel cold.
I’ve met two people, and have heard of one other person, who have the same “body malfunction”. One worked on a farm, and would do her chores at five o’clock in the morning in the dead of winter in her short-short pajamas and rain boots. One worked at Subway, and said she used to be like that, but she grew out of hers a few years after she turned eighteen. The third person I heard of through a college classmate, who was the first person to tell me that it was associated with some sort of medical condition.
I don’t know why I can’t feel cold, and a part of me doesn’t want to know. My body is what it is, it’s all I’ve ever known. I love being able to walk around in the winter in shorts and a tank top. It’s the only time I can wear a t-shirt or pants without sweating.
Our first Winter in Sylvan Lake, we heard about this thing called the Polar Dip. They cut a hole in the ice, stick a few firemen with “dry suits” in the water, and crowds gather around to watch a bunch of insane people jump into the freezing water.
Awesome, right?
So, we go down to the lake that first year with a Food Bank donation, so that I can jump into the water. Did they let me? No. You have to have pledges to jump into the water.
Suffice to say, I was annoyed. I put off doing the Polar Dip from then on out of sheer annoyance. I could just as easily take an ice-cold bath, so why bother? (Yeah, it’s not too hard for me to hold a grudge.)
Anyway, fast forward three years. We’ve just started a day home, and one of the dads has heard about the Polar Dip. He knows I don’t get cold, and wants a partner to jump in with. He asks me … and asks and asks and asks. One day while we’re bowling, he tells me that he’s registered us for the Polar Dip. I go from shocked, to frustrated, to grudgingly impressed, to finally acceptance.
“Fine, I’ll do it, but I’m not wearing a silly outfit,” I tell him. He turns to his wife and says, “She says she’ll do it, and she’ll wear a silly outfit!”
Sigh …
Anywhoo, half an hour later, he tells me that he’ll let me know when he gets us registered for the Polar Dip. … Yeah. Little bastard conned me into doing it. I am planning his demise ;)
Long-story-short, I get myself registered, pick up my pledge package, and start raising money. I only had about three days by the time we got it all sorted out, but I still managed to raise $191.75 for the Sylvan Lake library.
Our “Read Banned Books” month is coming up, so I figured I’d make my “costume” along those lines. My co-workers suggested I go as a book, but I am nowhere near that gifted in the fashion area. Instead, I bought a plain white t-shirt, and decorated it:
I had more than a little fun working on the shirt ;)
Three days before the jump, I caught the cold that my mom’s been battling since before Christmas. Sinus congestion, chest congestion, shortness of breath, sore throat, headache … not fun. But still, I was determined to follow through with the jump.
Twenty-two years old, and I had my very first experience with Buckley’s. I opened the bottle, and sniffed: “Oh my god, it smells like hair dye!”
“Just get it over with,” Mum says.
I shook it up, poured the required amount onto the spoon, and let it hover in front of my mouth. It still smelled like hair dye. Finally, I put in in my mouth. Swallowed as soon as possible. Waited. “That’s actually not so - oh my god! It burns!” The thing about Buckley’s? The aftertaste is SO MUCH WORSE!! It just doesn’t go away! But guess what? It’s the first time I’ve found an advertisement that held true: “it tastes awful, and it works.”
Yes. Yes it did.
The day of the jump, I was still congested, but nowhere near as badly as I would have been if I hadn’t self-medicated.
The safety meeting was fun, albeit a bit stressful due to the late arrival of my partner. My awesome niece came with us, and as the only kiddo there, got to help hand out trinkets to the jumpers, and as a reward, got her own “I Survived the Sylvan Lake 2012 Polar Bear Dip” t-shirt … the smallest size is a dress on her, and she loved it. Auntie Corrie will be writing “Ice Ice Baby” and “Ice Ice Baby Jr.” on our matching t-shirts.
So, after much waiting and clapping and anticipation, we finally bussed down to the lake. It amazes me how many people walk in front of traffic, and then get pissed when they get a horn blown at them. We were actually flipped off by a grown woman, for blowing the horn at her so she wouldn’t get run over. Classy, huh?
Anywhoo, we made it into the heated tent (and by heated, I mean hotter than a f--king sauna! None of us could stay in there!), and waited eagerly to jump into the water. Dallas and I were 24th down the list, so I expect there to be a long wait until it was our turn. We had two hours to jump, so I figured it’d be at least an hour and a half before we got our turn. Wrong. It took just over thirteen minutes before our turn was up.
The announcer had a good time reading off my bio card, putting emphasis on the “apparently she doesn’t get cold”, and had equal fun mocking Dallas’s Calgary Flames jersey ;)
Finally, FINALLY we got to jump in.
I don’t know what I was expecting. I was honestly hoping as cold as the water was, I would finally feel something … a shiver, a “burr” … anything. Instead, the first thing I noticed was the bottom of the lake - very squishy, very gross. Then I popped up, and had to blink the water out of my eyes to see; tried to look around for Dallas, but couldn’t see him. That’s when I tried to breath.
My heart froze. Could not breathe. It was insane! Wasn’t cold, wasn’t shivering, wasn’t desperate to get out of the water. I just could not breathe.
Took me three tries to get out of the water, and each time I tried to tell them I couldn’t breathe, and they just said, “grab the rope!” Well, sure … when I can suck in oxygen again, I’ll get right on that!
I did make it out of the water intact - despite my shorts trying to stay in the water! We got back into the tent, dried off, got our shoes on, all the while with big grins on our faces. We did it. We survived!
It was awesome. I would so do it again in a heartbeat - as soon as I actually get my heartbeat back on track! It was so worth it - at first, I just wanted to do it because it was cold and I thrive in the cold. Then I was mad that I had to raise money to do it, so I put off doing it for a long time. It took a kick in the butt and a twist of the arm to do it, but I’m glad I did. Raised almost 200 bucks for the library, and the free publicity we’ll get from the pictures and videos is priceless.
