Officer Down

One of my longer Rookie Blue fics. This one was actually requested of me by another author on the fanfic site. The blocks of italics are flashbacks.


She couldn't believe this was happening. Realistically, she shouldn't be so surprised ... it's a hazard of the job, something that you anticipate every time you slide on that flak jacket. Bad guys like to shoot cops, that's just how it is. They also loved using armor piercing rounds … ‘cop-killers’, as the bullets had been named on the street.

Even though she should have been completely prepared for this, she wasn't. She was prepared for being in that situation herself. She was prepared to be staring down the barrel of someone else's gun, and she was prepared to either talk her way out of it, or shoot before she got shot. She was ready for that. But how could she be prepared for having to sit idly by, while the man she loved was so close to death? His fate was completely out of her hands, all she could do was hope and pray that he made it through.

~ "We move in on my mark," he told everyone through the COMMs. "Three, two, one, MARK," he announced, and then the door was forced open by the battering ram.


They had finally done it. Emily had - in fact - made two copies of the information she'd stolen from Anton Hill, and once she was sure she was safe, she'd sent it back to Sam. It held everything that they needed to take down Anton Hill, now all they had to do was apprehend him.


Everything was falling into place. ~

Andy buried her head in her hands, wondering how they could have been so naive. Well, maybe it wasn't naivety. They were decked out in protective gear because they knew that Anton would have armed guards, and wouldn't go down without a fight. Maybe she'd been the naive one, to think that they would emerge victorious, without any casualties.

"He's not a casualty," she told herself quietly, but forcefully. It became her inner mantra, all that she could hold onto. That, and the watch that the paramedics had pulled off of his arm while working on him in the ambulance. She gripped it tight in her hands while she hoped and prayed, feeling Traci's hand rubbing her back, trying to comfort her.

~ “Sam, he's heading down to the basement!" Andy relayed, spotting Anton Hill trying to escape in the mayhem. Perhaps he had an exit down there that they didn't know about. "I'm going after him!"


"Not by yourself!" Sam shouted back, laying some cover fire as he crossed the room to the basement door.


They made their way down the stairs, slow and sure, their guns pointed ahead of them. Andy had descended before him, and so she was the first to get a clear view of the basement. She scanned the area as she made her way down the steps.


"I don't see him," she told Sam, her gun following the movement of her eyes.


"He couldn't have just vanished," Sam told her, following behind her.


Andy opened her mouth to respond, when she felt a hand grab her ankle, jarring her from the steps. ~

"He's gonna be fine," Traci told her, her hand continuing with soothing circles on her back. "Just breathe."

Andy shook her head, trying to hold back her tears. Unsuccessfully. "I can't lose him, Trace ... I just can't."

Traci grabbed one of Andy's hands with her free one, holding it tightly. "It's gonna be okay."

Andy wanted to believe her. She really wanted to.

...

The doctors managed to stabilize him but he was still in the ICU. They wouldn't let anyone see him, as he still wasn‘t out of the woods. She had almost been comforted when they told them that he had pulled through the surgery, but once Andy found out that he was still in danger of more internal bleeding, as well as an infection that could make the injury worse, the tears returned.

She wanted to be with him, to tell him that she was there for him, and that she wasn't going anywhere. She just wanted him to know that someone was there, even if he wasn't awake, and couldn't talk to her.

Andy paced around the waiting room, the other officers giving her a wide berth.

~ When she felt her body begin to fall through the air, she wanted to scream, but the impact of her body against the floor drew it from her.


"Andy!" Sam shouted, rushing down the stairs to make sure she was okay. "Andy, are you alright?"


"Not so fast, Swarek," a man said from behind him, and he turned to see Anton Hill emerge from below the staircase.


Anton pointed his gun straight at Sam's chest, walking forwards.


Sam's right hand twitched, about to raise his own gun back up.


"Uh-uh," Anton told him. "Drop it."


Andy struggled to regain her breath, the wind knocked out of her from the fall. "Sam ..." she began, but couldn't find any other words. It was too hard to speak.


"It's okay," Sam told her, purposefully placing himself between her and Anton Hill.


Anton shook his head. "You ruined me, Swarek. Say goodbye."


Sam began to lift his gun, but he was too late. The first shot hit him in the right shoulder, the second straight in the chest.


"NO!" Andy screamed, seeing him begin to fall. Before Anton could turn his gun on him, Andy raised her gun, shooting until Anton hit down ground. she pushed herself off of the ground, crawling over to Sam. ~

Chris and Gail had just come back from a coffee run, passing out the cups to room full of officers. Andy downed hers quickly, needing something to focus on. She needed something to keep her mind alert, so that she wouldn’t fall asleep … she couldn’t let herself be sleeping if Sam’s condition proved fatal.

She brought her hand up to her face, chewing nervously on her nails. "It's all my fault," she breathed out in a near-silent whisper. If Sam hadn't been worried about her, then he wouldn't have been distracted. He wouldn't have fallen for Anton's trap.

She shook her head, staring down at her feet, her eyes red and puffy.

Boyko made his way back to the waiting room, having gone to talk to the doctor about Sam's condition. "Alright, guys, it looks like they're going to keep him sedated overnight. They'll inform us if his condition changes, so until then, I want you all to go home and get some rest. You're all expected to show up for your shifts tomorrow."

Some of the cops left right away, a few needed more convincing, until finally it was just Andy, Traci, Jerry and Boyko. Traci stayed long enough to tell Andy to call her if she needed anything, and ask Jerry to drive her home. Her mom was watching Leo, and she wanted to get home so her mother could get back to her own place.

Jerry patted Andy's back before he left, telling her to call him if anything happened.

Andy nodded, promising that she would.

Boyko and Andy stood together in the waiting room, staring straight at one another. "McNally, he's not going to be able to see anyone at least until tomorrow. Go home, get some sleep."

Andy shook her head. "Sorry, sir, but I'm not going anywhere."

Boyko waited, staring her down, until he finally relented. "Okay ... I'll rearrange some things on the schedule, give you tomorrow off." He moved to retrieve his own coffee, but stopped before he passed her, regarding her thoughtfully. "This wasn't your fault."

Andy looked away, continuing her pacing.

~ Sam, stay still, okay? Don't move," she urged, pressing down on the more severe wound of the two, trying to stop the bleeding. "Officer down!" she shouted up the stairs to the basement. She grabbed her radio, pressing the talk button. "Officer down! Send a bus to the location of the takedown!" she relayed to the officers upstairs, as well as the dispatcher.


The gunfire had finally ceased upstairs, and a couple more officers made their way down the steps.


"Get help!" she pleaded, not taking her hands off his wound. Chris ran back up the steps to make sure that the paramedics were on the way, while Oliver stayed with Andy and Sam.


"Come on, Sam," Andy spoke in a shaky voice, feeling a few tears leak down her face as she maintained eye contact with him. "Stay with me." ~

...

Andy moved from spot to spot in the waiting room, downing cup after cup of coffee. She ran over the events of the night in her mind, over and over, trying to understand it all. She told herself that she could have done something - anything - to stop him from being shot. She should have cleared under the stairs ... they were open at the back, she should have expected that he'd hide there.

Sam had gotten shot because of her - for her. She didn't think she could live with that, if anything happened to him.

~ The paramedics brought him up out of the basement, wheeling him towards the ambulance.


"I'm coming with him," Andy stated, moving with the gurney.


"Only family comes in the bus, Ma'am," the paramedic told her, as he and the other collapsed the wheels and lifted Sam into the ambulance.


Andy scoffed, jumping up into the ambulance. "I'm his fiancée."


They accepted her into the van, closing the doors and heading for the nearest hospital. They cleared away the rest of his clothing to get at his wounds, removing his watch when they attached an IV.


Andy took it from them, her hands shaking as she stared down at Sam. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, his eyes trying to focus on her whenever he could. "It's ok, Sam. You're gonna be fine, okay? You're gonna be fine. Just stay with me, Sam."


When his eyes closed after that, they didn't open again. ~

Boyko had to leave around 6 in the morning to get home, shower, and take his kids to school, telling Andy to call him if she got any news about his condition.

Andy assured him that she would, standing up from her chair to get an update and refill her coffee cup.

She didn't hear anything until after 9 o'clock in the morning. A nurse made her way to the waiting room, singling Andy out. "You're Mr. Swarek's fiancée?"

Andy nodded, standing up. She fought the head rush that hit her when she stood up, blinking her eyes to fight the weariness that she felt. "What is it?"

"The doctor says you can go in and visit Mr. Swarek," she told Andy. "He's still unconscious, but the risk of infection is gone. You can stay in there with him as long as he's stable."

Andy nodded her thanks, following the nurse to his room. She clutched his watch in her hand, using it like an anchor. It was all that was keeping her grounded, all that was keeping her steady. Keeping her from drifting away and letting herself fall into the shell of emptiness that threatened to overtake her. She needed Sam to be okay.

Once the nurse brought her to the room, she gave her some privacy, telling her to let him get as much rest as possible.

Andy shifted in the middle of the room for a few moments, before she unsteadily took the seat next to his bed. She stared down at his face, taking in his closed eyes, and completely expressionless face. She took comfort in the fact that he didn't have a tube down his throat - he was breathing on his own.

She wanted to touch him - his hand, his forehead, his lips - but she didn't want to do something that might worsen his condition. She needed to be close to him, so she slid his watch onto her thin wrist, and then dug around in one of her pockets. With a shaky hand, she pulled out her engagement ring, holding back a whimper. She slid it onto its proper finger, feeling a momentary shiver rush through her body, before she lost the ability to compose herself. Andy dropped her head into her hands once more, the tears flowing freely from her eyes. Her body wracked with sobs, trying not to think about how she would go on without him.

"It's all my fault," she moaned out, crying into her hands. "All my fault."

After almost an hour, her exhausted body finally gave way to the pull of sleep, letting her drift into a deep state of unconsciousness, the pain in her heart filling her subconscious mind with dreadful imaginings.

...

Andy awoke to the sounds of a nurse shuffling around the room, checking his monitor and adjusting his IV. She sat up quickly in her seat, wiping her cheeks absently. "What's wrong?" she wondered, blinking her eyes quickly.

"Nothing's wrong, Ma'am," the nurse told her. "I'm just running a routine check."

"Has there been any change?" Andy wondered, hating herself for falling asleep.

The nurse shook her head. "Not really. His stats have remained mostly stable, so things are looking okay for now. But if you have any other questions, I can call his doctor for you."

Andy nodded her head, letting her know that she would find her if she needed anything. Her own head was throbbing, and after checking on Sam herself, she went to find a bathroom. Andy was still decked out in her gear from the previous night, having refused to go home and change.

After relieving her aching bladder, Andy moved to the sink to wash up. She took in her appearance with a wince, noticing her puffy eyes and disheveled hair. Sighing, she splashed cold water on her face, hoping it would wake her up a bit.

The ring on her finger caught her eye, and Andy was brought back to the night he'd proposed.

~ "What are we doing here?" Andy wondered as they made their way down an alleyway.


"You don't recognize this place?" Sam asked her. "But it holds such fond memories."


Andy glanced around, her mind searching for something familiar. "Wait, is this ...?"


"The very same alley where you tackled me, tried to kiss me?" he asked her with a grin. "Yep."


Andy rolled her eyes, grinning back. "Oh, please, I did not try to kiss you,” she reminded him through her grin. She couldn’t help but think back to that day with a smile on her face. “Wow ... that feels like ages ago." She glanced around, noticing that they were standing in about the same place where she'd knocked him to the ground. She fondly remembered searching him for weapons and drugs, her hands sliding over his buttocks as she checked his back pockets. Her smile widened at the memory. "So, why did you bring me back here?" She was almost dying with curiosity.


"Well ... I had a question I wanted to ask you," he told her, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he moved in a circle around her. "I tried thinking of the perfect place, and after a while, I realized that the place where we first met ... that would be pretty fitting. Shamelessly romantic, in a way," he added.


Andy narrowed her eyes at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this.


"So, here we are ... back where it all started. A lot has changed since then, yeah?" he asked her.


Andy nodded her head. "I'll say."


"I wouldn't change any of it," he told her. "Not a thing. I think everything worked out pretty damn perfectly."


Andy tilted her head at him, smiling and frowning at the same time. "What are you getting at here, Sam?"


He seemed to take a deep breath, and then pulled something out of his pocket. His hand hid most of it from her, and he kept it pressed against his pant leg. "I love you, Andy McNally. You know that, right?"


Andy smiled as she nodded her head. "Yeah, Sam. I love you, too."


A wide smile graced his features, and then he slowly slid to the ground, balancing on one knee.


"Oh, my god," Andy whispered, understanding the significance of the movement.


Sam took another deep breath, and then opened his mouth to speak. "I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you, McNally," he told her, smiling fondly. "I love you. Will you marry me?" Sam lifted the top of the box open, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.


Andy couldn't speak for a moment, her breath was completely taken away. Once she regained herself, she nodded her head swiftly, tears brimming in her eyes. "Yes! Of course I'll marry you!"


He stood quickly from the ground, pulling her into his arms and kissing her thoroughly. Once he pulled away, he took the ring out of the box, sliding in onto her waiting hand.


Andy closed her eyes for a moment, basking in the sensations filling and surrounding her. When she opened them again, he was smiling down at her. She couldn't imagine ever being happier than she was at that very moment. ~

Andy opened her eyes once more, staring into her reflection in the mirror. She would give anything to feel that way again. She dried her hands and face, exiting the bathroom and then heading to the nearest vending machine. She got a bottle of water this time, trying to get some of the caffeine out of her system. She was shaky enough as it was.

...

Andy was vigilant at Sam's side, waiting patiently for him to wake up. Doctors and nurses came and went, checking his stats, changing his IV, and sometimes making small-talk with Andy. Sometimes they tried to tell her that she should go home, take a shower, try and get some rest, but she told them no every time. She wasn't leaving him ... she didn't want him to wake up, and not see her there beside him.

Around four o'clock that afternoon, she witnessed his eyelids move around a bit.

Andy sat up straight in her seat, her hand reaching out to grip the bed. "Sam?" she spoke, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

After almost another minute, the movement happened again, and this time she noticed the numbers on the monitor going up. She thought that meant his pulse and blood pressure were rising, but she wasn't entirely sure.

"Sam?" she asked again, this time a bit louder.

His eyes blinked a couple times, but then shut against the bright lights. His tongue poked out to wet his lips. "Andy?" he rasped, his throat dry and sore.

She let out a choked-off breath of relief, leaning forward in her seat, her hand coming up to rest on his arm. "I'm here," she told him.

Sam tried to speak again, but his throat was sore. "Water?" he asked in a gravelly voice.

Andy nodded her head, walking around the bed to fill up a cup with a pitcher of water the nurses had left there. She angled the straw so that he could drink it easier, her hand coming out to brush against his forehead while he drank.

After he finished half the cup, Sam pulled away from the straw. "Thanks," he told her in a slightly healthier-sounding voice.

Andy nodded, standing beside him. Her hand continued to caress his hairline, thanking her lucky stars that he'd finally woken up.

Sam worked harder to open his eyes, seeing her standing above him. He took in her outfit, his eyebrows furrowing. "What time is it?"

Andy glanced at his watch on her hand. "Quarter after four," she told him. "You've been unconscious for over a day."

"You haven't been home yet?" he asked.

Andy shook her head, her fingers moving through his hair. "Couldn't."

Sam sighed, enjoying the feeling of her hand in his hair. Really, he was happy to be feeling anything at that moment. "Well, I'm glad you're okay," he told her.

Andy pursed her lips at that, trying not to start crying again.

"What?" he asked her. "What's wrong."

She shook her head, pulling her hand away from his hair. "It's my fault you're in here," she told him. "If I'd checked the stairs first, he never would have ... I'm so sorry, Sam."

Sam clenched his jaw, staring up at her. When she tried to move away from the bed, his left arm came up to grab her wrist. "Don't," he told her forcefully. "This was not your fault. This was Anton Hill's fault. He's the one who shot me, not you. If I'd gone down first, I wouldn't have checked the stairs either."

Andy looked down at his hand on her wrist, not believing him at first.

"Don't blame yourself for what you can't control," he said. "What happened, happened. What matters is, we're here now. And I don't like it when you cry."

She looked up, meeting his eyes. She was shocked to find a tear falling onto his own cheek. Andy walked back to him, leaning down and kissing his lips.

He responded quickly, feeling both sorrow and elation in her kiss.

They pulled apart when a nurse came into the room. She paged the doctor when she saw that Sam was awake, and Andy stood back to let them do their jobs, checking on her husband-to-be.

Andy ran a hand through her hair, ever-thankful that he was going to be okay. She hoped that one day she would be able to stop thinking that she was to blame for him being shot. Even if she couldn't, she would spend every day loving him, and making sure that it didn't happen again.

...

Sam was released from the hospital almost two weeks later. He spent a couple months in rehab, getting his strength back and building his endurance back up. He went back to work two months before the wedding.

Andy smiled brightly as her father walked her down the aisle, barely believing that the day had finally come. They'd made it through everything so far, and they were still together. She saw him up at the altar, waiting for her with a broad smile on his own face. You wouldn't know by looking at him that only a few months ago, he'd been lying in a hospital bed, very near death. To see him so full of life now made Andy's heart skip a beat, feeling a rush of excitement.

She used to think that they had to live moment-to-moment ... just get through the night, get through the recovery, get through the rehab, get through the day without something bad happening. She didn't think that anymore. She would take whatever life gave her ... because at that moment, it gave her the most beautiful wedding ceremony, surrounded by her friends and family, about to marry the love of her life. She didn't want to get through life; she wanted to enjoy it.

Andy knew that with Sam by her side, she would.