It seems that no matter who I talk about publishing my novel, the first thing that comes out of their mouth is always: “Don’t plan on making a living off of being an author”.
I am not a stupid person. I do well in school, I make good choices in life, and I am a realist. I am not some star-struck optimist who thinks that the first publisher I send my novel to will love it, and offer me thousands of dollars to publish it, and any more that I want to write. That just doesn’t happen; I know that. I know that it could take me years to get published, if I don’t end up self-publishing - and if I do self-publish, I won’t necessarily make a profit off of my books. I am very aware of these facts.
I don’t write because I want to make money off of my writing, I write because I have to. When I get an idea in my head - either an awesome plot, a great scene, or a perfect line - I HAVE to get it down. It will slowly start driving me insane if I don’t. I immerse myself in a world of fiction and fantasy on a daily basis. I don’t do this so that I can write as much as possible so that I can then SELL as much as possible. No, I do this because the real world is far too disappointing for me.
The real world sucks, quite frankly. Does that mean I hide myself away from it? No. I have friends, classmates, and colleagues. But I do concede that at times, I prefer the versions of them that are in my poems. These are the versions without the flaws and quirks that we all have. My poems highlight their positive attributes, where those versions of themselves will live on forever in my binders and notebooks. The real world is full of so much tragedy, sadness, and hate, that the fantasy worlds I create are more than a reprieve or vacation; they are a sanctuary. And, quite frankly, they are more fun than the real world.
Will every single person in the world love the characters that I have created? Probably not. I don’t expect to be a best-selling author at 21. Would it be nice? Yes. I admit that I have certainly dreamed and fantasized about what it would be like to a renowned author, and go on talk-shows, and have people ask me for autographs … but that’s all they are: dreams. Yes, it would be nice, but it’s not something that I need. I don’t need absolution, I don’t need thousands of adoring fans. I WANT to be a published author, because it has been the one consistent love-affair of the last 15 years of my life.
I will always be a writer. Whether I’m working in a day care somewhere, running my own day home, working a till at some supermarket, or shelving books at a bookstore … I will always be a writer. But the thrill of walking by those shelves and seeing my book? That would feel pretty damn nice.
If I make enough money in my life to afford a small place for me and my dog to live, I will be a happy person. I don’t need to be rich, I don’t need to live in a mansion paid for by my writing success … I just want my books to be out there, for people to read, and for me to say: “Yep, I wrote that.”
Love it!! I wish more people could think that way, I dont know why people are obsessed with money...I dont really see what would be so great about being super rich, I mean ya I would love to pay off my debt, buy a house and car for my family and be living well...but I dont need any of it and weather I get it or not I am perfectly happy...just being with the people I love.
ReplyDeleteLove, family, friends, talents/passions...are all better than money, and too many people see past that and money is all they care about.
Its nice to hear things like this once in awhile. :)
Even if your novel never makes it very far, all that matters is that you enjoyed writing it and that the people who matter will read it and most likely love it!